My journey towards the discovery of joy has begun. New roads are often full of the unexpected. The word joy paints a different picture in my minds eye than what I am visualizing already. However, this is not unusual in this opposite economy ,in a different world, where I walk with my Heavenly Father, His Son Jesus Christ and our Comforter, the Holy Spirit.
Thus far, God has spoken to me, that I must decrease and He must increase.
That I must be delivered from me,that I might taste of His goodness and thus I shall not want.
That I should muster the courage to say YES to my life, trusting Him that He is in control and with me, EVEN in my struggles.
I thought I was doing this, or at least some of it. And indeed I have been. Trying. Failing. Falling.
But ever pursuing.
The God we serve is the perfect parent. Who, of any of us, did not push, nudge, inspire and desire the best both for our kids, and of them. I know I did. And have. And still do.
How can I look at my Father, and think He deserves any less? His grace allows me to continue. His love calls me to the deeper things. It is so simple ,I oft cannot grasp it.
The words, thrown around in recovery circles and in spiritual conversations, often say Let Go and Let God. It has rung in my ears for years and appeared as billboards before my minds eye often. Yet here I stand. Not really getting it.
I am here, Oh God, deliver me. Just as years ago I faced that I did not know how to surrender and you helped me learn that. I think I understand that I get the Let God part, but only have scraped the surface of the Let Go.
One need not be a control freak to not fully understand letting go. Believe me, I have let go of tons....but there must be a deeper letting go He's talking about.
Onward and upward. Destination Joy.
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